The new jeans!!! OH YEAH!!!!
ECU!!!
Oh YEAH!!!! I am here to report that my jeans that were my new "skinny" jeans are now TOO BIG!!!! So this week I went on over to the good old LB and hooked myself up with these lovelies! The 20s are perfection and make me look super foxy and I figure in about a month the 18s will be what I'm strutting down the street in!!!! And now, gentle readers, I would like for you to muse back to last October when a size 28 jean was so tight that I had to lay down to button them. Think hard...I know...it hurts... :) I am stunned by what I have accomplished!!!
My little fingers are even rejoicing in this weight loss thing! When I started this I wore a size 11 ring on the ring finger of my right hand (I have always thought,"I just have big fingers..." OY!) My replacement CTR ring is a size 9.5 and is falling off left, right and center! So...I went to the Beehive Bookstore and ordered a new ring...this time the size is...an 8!!!!! OH YEAH!!!!! This means that when I do get married I get to have a normal, girl sized wedding ring!!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!!!
While all of this new smallness has been happening I have been thinking about how I'm feeling about being less. I had a friend once say to me, during a different weight loss period, "You're disappearing!" That statement freaked me out and was the effective fly in the ointment of me losing any more weight. The idea that if I don't weigh as much, I will effectively stop existing is not what I want, AT ALL!!! I do know that this is a concern for me. That by there being "less" of me, the world will see me as being less of a person, someone to trample on or overlook, is terrifying to me. I've also been realizing lately that I am not as tall as I imagine I am. I think that in my mind's eye I am about 5'8" but in reality I am just shy of 5'4"! This new realization of truly becoming a petit person has me concerned...I don't want to disappear!
The question of the day to all of my smaller friends (you know who you are!): How do you find a balance between being "small" and being seen? Do you experience the world ignoring you?
