Stop the Hiding!

I have been hiding! I have avoided posting on here and actually fessing up to the emotions that I've been dealing with lately. Sorry! I'm done with the hiding and am here to say that I have been pretty terrified lately. Last week I lost 3 pounds! A fabulous success...but immediately after that feeling of success came the feeling of "Ok, so now when am I going to fail?!" I have been battling this feeling for the past two weeks and am just going to be brave about it. I am super scared that I will have all of this initial success and then fail miserably in front of all of you and all of the other people I have shared my goals with. It feels almost like it's inevitable. I know this isn't the "truth" but it's just what I'm feeling right now.

This week's weigh-in was extra scary because I was scared of failing & it was an unfortunate time of the month. I am very happy to say that I have lost another pound to make a grand total of 15 pounds lost!!! This also puts me only 1 pound away from losing 5% of my initial body weight (No one needs to get out a calculator! PLEASE!!!) With this week being a success I think that I need to remind myself of a bunch of successes that I've had...here we gooooooooo!

1. Lost 15 pounds since February 9
2. Lost the following inches: 1 from arms, 2 from hips, 1.5 from bust, 1 from waist, 1 from thighs
3. Am down a full shirt size
4. Can garden without being out of breath
5. Attended 8 Weight Watchers meetings (half way to a rad prize!)
6. Edited out shirts from my wardrobe that are too big for me to wear
7. Signed up to walk a 5K in June
8. Managed to have treats (including Nachos Bell Grande) and still stayed within my daily points
9. Shared with my Dad that I am doing WW. This was extra scary because my Dad has been flat-out mean in the past when it comes to weight and physical appearance.
10. Shared with friends how I am feeling

I am really proud of myself that I did not let my fear turn into self-sabotage (insert clip from The Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video here)!!! I am also proud of how much I have been sharing with people and how easy it has become to count points, tell people that I am counting points and have it be absolutely no big deal.

Next week starts the Weight Watchers walking challenge and I am totally going to be starting up. I would love to go for walks with people, but I have this fear of looking like a total idiot and making people think that I am super lame because I am totally not in shape. If any of you would like to go for walks with me, knowing that it will be a stroll & that I may need to take a break or ask you to slow down, let me know! I'm going to have to pull out my brave card for this one too but I am just going to do it!

Goals for March 30-April 6:

1. Lose at least 1 pound...but I'd really like to lose 2!
2. Go for at least one 20 minute walk- 3/31 with Hannah, 4/1 with Kaija (1.8 miles), 4/5 with Kathi (2 miles)
3. Do an arm workout at least once- 4/2
4. Check sizing charts for new jeans! Mine are baggy town USA- Note: sizing charts are BONKERS!!! I know what size is too big for me right now but according to my measurements I should be wearing a size larger than what I already own...hmmm...something is amiss!!! I did order new shorts though!!! I can't wait to prance around in them!
5. Set-up some walking buddies (this week's meeting theme was The Power of the Buddy)- Kaija, Anne, Kathi
6. Schedule a massage- 4/5 @ 10am!!!! The massage was RIDICULOUS!!!! I feel like a new person!

Lighter & Celebrating!!!

WAHOO!!!! I am 11 pounds lighter than I was on February 9th!!!! I am super happy to have met my 10 pound goal and I am proud of all that I have accomplished over the past 5 weeks. Here are a few of the things that I have done to make this happen:

1. Weighed snack foods as soon as I got home and bagged them up in snack bags, then added the points values to my WW web page
2. Started taking vitamins daily
3. Really planned for meals and made sure to have what I like to eat in the house
4. Dealt with the feelings that I had rather than feeding them
5. Called friends when I felt like I was going crazy and got their love and support
6. Payed attention to the negative conversation in my head and redirected it!!!
7. Made awesome affirmation cards for myself
8. Gave myself a reward for meeting my weight loss goal (I bought a new dress!!!)

I love that when I tried on my new dress today I was thinking to myself, "You are so cute!!! Check out that waist!!!" I think all of us should have thoughts like that every time we get a new outfit, catch a glimpse of ourselves in a window, or are hanging out with our girlfriends! It really is a great way to feel about yourself. I am really celebrating what I'm doing and sharing it with people. I feel like I have a whole army of people behind me, rooting me on!

Here is the latest on my goals from last week...

1. Workout to 2 of the SELF workouts on my iPhone- I did one "Get Sexy Arms" and it was rad and actually fun!
2. Lose at least 1lb.- DONE!!!! I lost 1.8lb.
3. Find a WW buddy- DONE! Sheelagh from, my meeting, is going to be my official buddy!
4. Start working on my weight loss ross cardigan- DONE!!!!! I have read through the directions, learned a new cast-on technique and have knitted the first 14 rows!
5. Be strictly accurate with point count- DONE!
6. Drink 96oz. water daily- This one was a wash this week...but I'm going to keep working on it and I will master this for sure
7. Create affirmation cards- DONE!!!!

Goals for the week of March 16-22:

1. Lose 2lb.
2. Drink 96oz. water daily
3. Work out to 2 SELF workouts- Sculpt Sexy Arms 3/19, 3/21
4. Be strictly accurate with point count
5. Plan at least 2 treats (The theme this week is "How to avoid deprivation and enjoy what you eat")- Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream & Shortbread Cookie 3/17
6. Knit at least 20 more rows on my weight loss reward cardigan (Here's a picture of the finished sweater...my yarn is a lovely cranberry)

Weigh-in Day #4 & Goal Update

Yes folks, it is Weight Watchers Wednesday!!!! Today the scale told me what I wanted to hear...I have lost another 2.4 pounds!!!! WAHOO!!!! I am only 0.8 lb. away from 10 pounds now!!! During the WW meeting I really appreciated all of the work I did over the last week to be prepared, learn how much is enough and to experiment with new foods! I am so on top of the ziplock bag action for snacks! It makes a huge difference for me.

Here's an update on my goals from last week...

1. Try 2 new foods- DONE: Chayote squash, Minneola, Glutino Pretzels, Baked Cheese Curls, Sun-dried Tomato & Mozarella Sausage, and Baby Bella mushrooms.
   
2. Workout to 2 of the SELF workouts on my iPhone- NOT DONE
   
3. Lose at least 2lbs.- DONE!!!!!!
   
4. Be strictly accurate with point count- DONE!!!
   
5. Find a WW buddy (Heidi B, Hope, Tiffany F or Tiffany B or...)- NOT DONE...well, I thought it was done and then it fell through

New Goals for the week of March 9-16!!!

1. Workout to 2 of the SELF workouts on my iPhone
2. Lose at least 1lb.
3. Find a WW buddy
4. Start working on my weight loss reward cardigan- DONE!!!! I have read through the directions, learned a new cast-on technique and have knitted the first 14 rows!
5. Be strictly accurate with point count
6. Drink 96oz. water daily
7. Create affirmation cards- DONE!!!!

The meeting theme this week was "Celebrating Your Successes" and I am going to be focusing on that all week. I am going to celebrate when I make a good choice, feel my feelings instead of eat them, and when I workout!!!!

I would love to get encouraging texts/emails about working out. I am really struggling to get myself going, consistently, in this area and I know it will make a huge difference!

Goals for this week

In the hopes of keeping my focus on the positive side of things I made a list (YES! A list!) of my goals for this week! Here we go:

1. Try 2 new foods (fruit & squash)
2. Workout to 2 of the SELF workouts on my iPhone
3. Lose at least 2lbs.
4. Be strictly accurate with point count
5. Find a WW buddy (Heidi B, Hope, Tiffany F or Tiffany B or...)

I'll update you guys as the week goes on!

Weigh-in Day #3

Well...the good news is that I didn't gain weight. The frustrating news is that I only lost 0.2 pounds this week. More good news...I've lost 6.8 pounds in three weeks and I'm learning to deal with the emotions that I usually feed. And yet...the lame number on the scale has me feeling as if I have failed. BAH!!!!!

Right now I just want to give up...this is going to take so long and I am already exhausted.

To fight this feeling and to keep my mind focused on what I can control, I came home from my WW meeting and measured out all of my snacks, figured out the point values, added them onto the WW online site, and labeled the packages! I no longer have the desire to eat the entire box of Nut-Thins crackers because I have figured out how many points are in a serving and I have made little individual snack bags!

I am going to keep refocusing myself all day so that I don't go bananas and sabotage myself!