Stop the Hiding!

I have been hiding! I have avoided posting on here and actually fessing up to the emotions that I've been dealing with lately. Sorry! I'm done with the hiding and am here to say that I have been pretty terrified lately. Last week I lost 3 pounds! A fabulous success...but immediately after that feeling of success came the feeling of "Ok, so now when am I going to fail?!" I have been battling this feeling for the past two weeks and am just going to be brave about it. I am super scared that I will have all of this initial success and then fail miserably in front of all of you and all of the other people I have shared my goals with. It feels almost like it's inevitable. I know this isn't the "truth" but it's just what I'm feeling right now.

This week's weigh-in was extra scary because I was scared of failing & it was an unfortunate time of the month. I am very happy to say that I have lost another pound to make a grand total of 15 pounds lost!!! This also puts me only 1 pound away from losing 5% of my initial body weight (No one needs to get out a calculator! PLEASE!!!) With this week being a success I think that I need to remind myself of a bunch of successes that I've had...here we gooooooooo!

1. Lost 15 pounds since February 9
2. Lost the following inches: 1 from arms, 2 from hips, 1.5 from bust, 1 from waist, 1 from thighs
3. Am down a full shirt size
4. Can garden without being out of breath
5. Attended 8 Weight Watchers meetings (half way to a rad prize!)
6. Edited out shirts from my wardrobe that are too big for me to wear
7. Signed up to walk a 5K in June
8. Managed to have treats (including Nachos Bell Grande) and still stayed within my daily points
9. Shared with my Dad that I am doing WW. This was extra scary because my Dad has been flat-out mean in the past when it comes to weight and physical appearance.
10. Shared with friends how I am feeling

I am really proud of myself that I did not let my fear turn into self-sabotage (insert clip from The Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video here)!!! I am also proud of how much I have been sharing with people and how easy it has become to count points, tell people that I am counting points and have it be absolutely no big deal.

Next week starts the Weight Watchers walking challenge and I am totally going to be starting up. I would love to go for walks with people, but I have this fear of looking like a total idiot and making people think that I am super lame because I am totally not in shape. If any of you would like to go for walks with me, knowing that it will be a stroll & that I may need to take a break or ask you to slow down, let me know! I'm going to have to pull out my brave card for this one too but I am just going to do it!

Goals for March 30-April 6:

1. Lose at least 1 pound...but I'd really like to lose 2!
2. Go for at least one 20 minute walk- 3/31 with Hannah, 4/1 with Kaija (1.8 miles), 4/5 with Kathi (2 miles)
3. Do an arm workout at least once- 4/2
4. Check sizing charts for new jeans! Mine are baggy town USA- Note: sizing charts are BONKERS!!! I know what size is too big for me right now but according to my measurements I should be wearing a size larger than what I already own...hmmm...something is amiss!!! I did order new shorts though!!! I can't wait to prance around in them!
5. Set-up some walking buddies (this week's meeting theme was The Power of the Buddy)- Kaija, Anne, Kathi
6. Schedule a massage- 4/5 @ 10am!!!! The massage was RIDICULOUS!!!! I feel like a new person!