Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

I have lost 25.4 pounds since February 9th. When I started really addressing losing weight back in October I weighed 42 more pounds than I do today. In October I could barely fit into my size 28 jeans (it was painful to say the least). I am now wearing a 24 and they are loose. I ordered some clothes in a size 3x (smaller than I was before) from Old Navy and most of them were too big! It has been years since I have been this size. I also have some pretty great measurement changes since February:

Arm: 2 inches

Hips: 2.5 inches

Bust: 2.5 Inches

Waist: 4 inches

Thighs: 1.5 inches

Abdomen: 4.5 inches

Even with all of this great progress I continually find myself doubting my ability to succeed at this. I feel the threat of failure daily and it feels more like a promise than something that I can avoid. I am really scared. I can see myself becoming a little bit bananas too. I have been ridiculously careful with points and even menu planned to the brink of deprivation of the joy of really tasty food. This is not how I want to live nor how I want to feel.

Up next I am working to bring back the balance that I know I am searching for. Today I had a lot of tasty food...Abelskiver, cheese fondue and Coq au Vin. Such delicious food and I didn't even use all of my daily points! I did this without tracking during the day but I was very aware of how much I was eating and stopped when I felt it was enough. All of my purposeful measuring and attention to serving size is paying off. Go me!!!

Change is supposed to be a good thing and I can see that I am moving towards my ultimate goal. At the same time I am struggling to keep my mind focused on what I have accomplished and that I am still moving forward. I find myself wishing for a display board where I can get updates on what is happening internally. It would be great to know for sure every day what is happening inside. Then I would know if what I was doing was making a difference.

Thank you so much for your support and for being such amazing people that I feel safe really saying what I feel. Onward...to more changes!

Upcoming benchmarks:

10%...6.6 more pounds...any ideas for a celebration?

50 pounds...mid-August dinner at Chez Panisse